Category Archives: Awesome Classifieds!

funny and entertaining car classified ads from around the web

Awesome Classified: Rolling Fortess of Sheet Metal – 1960 Chevrolet Apache C10 Seller claims women will be asking ‘Just how pregnant do I want to get?’ when you pull up in this baby!

1960 Chevy Apache For SaleEvery once in a while I come across a classified ad that is so well written, that makes such a compelling case, convinces me so fully that I need it that I consider begging, borrowing and stealing whatever I must in order to put the vehicle in my garage. This 1960 Chevrolet Apache C10 Longbed Stepside Pickup  ad I found on Craigslist here in Minneapolis is just such an ad.

Are you bullied on a regular basis? Do you have feelings of general inadequacy? From what the seller says, this pick up truck might just be what you need to turn things around. I must admit, I felt considerably tougher and my skin appeared more weathered just minutes after reading this ad.

1960 Chevy Apache For Sale - 2
If things go badly, this could be the last thing you ever see speeding towards you.

Who woudn’t want to say ‘Yeah, I just picked up a 1960 Chevrolet Apache C10 Longbed Stepside Pickup, you wanna go for a ride?’?

1960 Chevy Apache For Sale - 5
All V8, all the time… yeah, boy!

I wouldn’t normally expect the owner of a pickup like this to be such a proficient writer. He seems to entertain while he informs… crazy thing is… I don’t think he was joking when he wrote this. I think he’s serious, dead serious. What’s a little scary to me, is that I recognize the drive in restaurant where the seller took the photos included with the ad… it’s less than a mile from my house. I don’t think I want this guy that close to my house!
1960 Chevy Apache For Sale - 1The seller bought this car as an original ‘barn find’ in Nebraska, equipped with a camper on the back of it, and hauled it back to the Twin Cities for recommissioning. It looks to be original, as described, and comes with a treasure trove of original books, manuals and other paperwork. $20,000 seems a a little steep for me… but I think I’d rather just pay the man instead of trying to haggle with him too much.

Here is a link to the actual ad.  (and one that link is no longer active… see below)

From Minneapolis Craigslist – November 9, 2015:
Now here’s a real truck…none of that pussy shit you see nowadays. Plastic was a luxury in 1960 so everything’s made from things long forgotten today….steel, sweat, chewing tobacco, gun powder and dead dinosaurs.

That’s right this Nebraska barn find is as complete and unmolested as kid who had something better to do the night Michael Jackson asked him to sleep over.

I know what you’re wondering: how safe is it? There are only two things that will keep you safe in this, those expired condoms in your wallet and the safety switch on the gun in the rear window rack because seat belts weren’t even an option when this baby came out and she’s certainly not getting them installed so don’t even ask if your flesh trophies can have a ride unless you accept that they can easily be thrown from this majesty of metal if they touch the wrong handle on the door (or they talk).
No tree hugging hippie shit here because to move this beast you need both feet on the floor and both hands on the wheel pulling this vessel of men in the direction you need to go. Hell, pirates would rather steer a wooden ship through the Bearing Strait than to mess with this thing in traffic.

Air conditioning? There is absolutely a dial that says “AIR” but literally interpreted means that you are offered the same options as Jesus and John Wayne, that’s right just flip that switch and you will be handed some outside air that’s passed over 283 cubic inches of piss and vinegar and, when first opening said vent, a healthy dose of trail dust reminiscent of an Arizona dust storm because the makers of this fine piece of machinery were men who rode the trails and not each other and thought hot dust was just another one of the food groups.

This rolling fortress of sheet metal has an AM radio and the only power-anything is the power coming from under the hood. That’s right, there will be no Justin Bieber being played in this sanctuary of steel, and if you own white Oakley’s, affliction t-shirts, or those cheesy stitched-pocket jeans you should probably not get in this man wagon because you will be ridiculed relentlessly and probably left on the side of some dirt road in the country where a local farmer might find you and make you squeal like a pig.

However, if you laugh at danger, and tempt fate, consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion or uttered the words, “Hold my beer and watch this . . .” then step aboard but most likely there will be no room as your mom, girlfriend and sister will have beat you to it.

No sir, when this baby pulls up in the driveway the only questions one has to ask are, “just how pregnant do I want to get?” and/or “do I have enough money for bail?”.

SPECIFICS:

Originally purchased to hot rod and slam but after inspecting thoroughly I decided against tarnishing this pristine-condition specimen.

Purchased from the second owner, this truck sat in a barn in Nebraska for the past 30 years and appears to have been frozen in time. Prior to my purchase in September it was last titled in 1984. I literally loaded it on the trailer and using an external fuel source it started and ran perfectly.

I have performed only the following:
– Removed camper (which comes with the truck)
– Washed and buffed the exterior
– Changed oil and filter
– New fuel tank, fuel pump and fuel sending unit
– Rebuilt carburetor
– New brake master cylinder
– New bias ply tires
– Flushed all fluids
– Replaced rear brake hose due to cracking
– Installed dual glass pack straight back exhaust (orig. exhaust included)

Since getting running I have put close to 2,000 miles on and it drives like a dream and everything works right down to the cigarette lighter!

I don’t think you will find a more perfect candidate for an all original restoration. This truck is 99% intact missing only the original rear bumper and mounts. Every item on this 45K mile truck was retained intact right down to the original owner’s manual and booklets in the mint glove box. The seats were covered in 1960 with a cover and when checking out the original vinyl underneath there are no cracks or damage to the original seat so the cover kept everything in pristine condition. The floors were covered in outdoor carpeting so the floors are 100% clean and the original floors underneath immaculate. I’ve inspected the entire truck for rust and found only a couple spots of surface rust and minor spotting as you can see in the pictures. The truck was painted to match the camper (which comes with the truck if you like) so the paint is not original but apparently was done in the 60’s

Trades, bartering, etc will be taken into consideration. I do not need the money and really, really love driving this truck and am not motivated to sell except for I want to hot rod an Apache and do not want to wreck this one. If you think you’re going to offer me $10,000 think again.

Thanks!

Awesome Classified: 1986 Porsche 944 Turbo Will, Apparently, Change Your Life

Porsche 944 Turbo for sale

If this car can do half the things the seller claims.. count me in! Race prepared 1986 Porsche 944 Turbo, 97,000 miles, $11,000. Hilarious CL ad below, this seller pulled out all the stops!

I see all kinds of classified ads for cars during my regular scouring of the web for the next fun car… this hilarious ad from Craigslist Minneapolis made me want to create a new blog category where I can post other such ridiculous ads. You’ve gotta hand it to the guy who put this one together… it’s all I can do not to run right out and buy this one… the part about the Argentinian intern is the best!

I’m not sure that a ‘Carrera’ (911) constitutes a ‘classless car’ but this guy thinks pretty highly of his 944… and himself, self described as ‘185 pounds of toned muscle’…

Here is a link to the ad itself. It’s also pasted below, verbatim, from the CL listing.. so when the ad is eventually taken down or the car is sold, we can still read it and laugh.

From Minneapolis Craigslist – July 29, 2015:

This is for the truly discerning man who understands that the right mix of class and power is to have an abundance of both. This pearl white chariot will take you to concerts, ball fields, and the apartment of that new intern from Argentina. Don’t get a classless Boxster or Carrera – get a real car meticulously assembled by the best mechanics in the world at the Zuffenhausen factory in 1986. Fewer than 11,000 of these cars were ever produced – she’s rarer than your Rolex. This car has been fully upgraded for track racing. Professionally balanced so that when she is 1/2 full of high octane and has 185 pounds of toned muscle in the driver’s seat the weight distribution is exactly 25% on each wheel. Her four 12″ Brembo discs stay cool with custom ventilation piping that 170 MPH breeze over their slotted surface. So, your buddy in the passenger seat just told you he’s decided to become a vegetarian – tap these suckers and break his stupid noise [nose] on the dashboard – cause hey, you’re doing the guy a favor.
And if during one of the many getaway chases you’ll be leading something goes terribly awry and you accidently go off that overpass, at least you’ll be in one piece when you’re incarcerated – ’cause this baby is outfitted with a rollcage, Sparco Evo racing seat, and 5-point Simpson harness. Hear that lion roaring under the hood? That is 2.6 liters of double camshafted, turbocharged adrenaline. The whole thing has been gone through by Auto Edge Racing. We are talking over $7,000 in racing upgrades.
Porsche 944 for sale funny craigslist ads

She is the real deal with a 5 speed rear mounted transmission handling all that power through a high performance puck clutch with less than 10,000 miles on the clutch. Don’t show up expecting to test drive this beauty unless you know how to drive a manual & have cash in hand.

So, you’re ready to have this white stallion in your stable? Then you better be willing to fork over $11,000 american. Or if you have a blue water sailboat in the caribbean I’d be willing to swap.

Shoot me an email and we can set up a meeting.
Porsche 944 for sale funny craigslist ads

Porsche 944 for sale funny craigslist ads

Porsche 944 for sale funny craigslist ads